God has been very understanding and a real friend to me.. I love Him for that.
I've had a copious failures as a leader in church and as a person in life and started to feel sian of church and churchy stuff. I seemed to be caught in an endless cycle of falling and getting up again. Dusting myself off and trying again only to fall down. And all around I perceived perfect people with no trouble at all. I felt inferior. Stupid. Unworthy of leadership. Yesterday, I even refused to read the bible. Oh yea, I got the blues pretty bad.
But today at family devotion, I was asked to read from the devotional material that we used weekly. The title was "Failures Anonymous". Through that, God told me it was ok to be a failure. To dust myself off and walk forward in the second chances He gives. At that point of time, I was fighting off tears. God understood and He did not mind that I was a failure. He loved me for who I am. He spoke to me through His word. He's my friend who understood and comforted me. So as my cousin closed the session in prayer, I took advantage of the fact that all eyes were closed to wipe away tears of relief and gratitude.
I wanted to get it out and read as soon as I can because I didn't want to forget His goodness. I also didn't want to hide my thankfulness. There is joy in being a failure. Failures rejoice!!
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