2011

hahaha I typed a super long entry and deleted accidentally. OH WELL. Happy new year :D

A personal question

"God, do you love me? Do you like me?"

Dare you ask this question? Ask it and take the answer personally. And if you even dare to, ask why too.

Blessings,

Jo.

What I want to live out.

Our Daily Bread

Saturday,
December 4, 2010

Inspiration To Perspiration

Read: Titus 3:1-8

Be doers of the Word, and not hearers only. —James 1:22

My grandfathers were both gardeners and so are many of my friends. I love visiting beautiful gardens—they inspire me. They make me want to create something equally beautiful in my own yard. But I have trouble moving from the inspiration to the perspiration part of gardening. My great ideas don’t become reality because I don’t spend the time and energy to make them happen.

This can be true in our spiritual lives as well. We can listen to the testimonies of other people and marvel at the work God is doing in their lives. We can hear uplifting music and great preaching and feel inspired to follow God more diligently. But soon after we walk out of church, we have trouble finding the time or making the effort to follow through.

James described such Christians as being like those who look in a mirror, see themselves, but do nothing to fix what is wrong (James 1:23-24). They hear the Word, but it doesn’t lead to action. James says we need to do—not just hear.

When we move from the inspiration of simply “hearing” about the good being done by others to the perspiration of actually “doing” good works ourselves, the implanted Word of God (1:21) will bloom into a beautiful garden of spiritual fruit. — Julie Ackerman Link

I’d rather see a Christian Than to hear one merely talk; I’d rather see his actions And behold his daily walk. —Herrell

Life works best when we do.

Bible in a year: Ezekiel 47-48; 1 John 3

{Credit for devotional material: http://mobi.rbc.org/odb/2010-12-04.html . Thank you, people at Our Daily Bread for posting it online for all. Its such a blessing. }

Ashamed to say, I wandered away

The last post on this blog was 26 November. The date I'm posting now is 4 December. I missed devotion for 4 days and in those days lots of ground was lost. I sank back into the dark and took God's grace for granted.

I don't have real repentance. A change of mind.

Or is it that I did have real repentance? But I allowed myself a look back at the past and decided, despite my past experiences, to choose again the errant path?

I'm sorry, Lord. Here on this blog that is yours really, I say I'm sorry. Search my heart, Lord. You know that I'm worried that You'll stop loving me. That after this time that I sinned the same sin I promised and declared I had victory in your name over, You would give up on me. I'm ever plagued not just by the thought that You will leave me but also by the thought that You have every right to. It would be so easy for You to walk away and leave me there alone. YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO. But please, please don't. Really really. Please don't. I dread the days without You to guide me. I'm sorry. Life as it is can go on. Phones can still ring, people laugh, cry and work. Trees grow, computers hum, I eat dinner. But Lord, it will not be the same when you are gone. Please please don't leave me. Please cleanse me again so I can talk to you and you to me.

I need the blood of Jesus. I cannot live thinking that You cannot bear to be near me. I cannot do without You. Right now I realize this because I have sinned. But when I haven't committed sin that rocks me to my core, I take your grace for granted. Lord, I want to live knowing what it is to be under grace everyday. Whatever the consequences Lord. Everyday. I want to be broken. Everyday. Please forgive me.

Remorseful and asking,

Jo.

{Get up off your knees. Wipe the tears from your eyes. Lift up your head and let the king of glory come in. And the Lord's warmth and love engulfed my soul and would not let it go. Thank you, Lord. }

Show me Your face, Lord

Show me Your face, Lord
Show me Your face
Then gird up my legs that I might stand in this holy place
Show me Your face, Lord
Your power and grace
I could make it to the end if I can just see Your face

Moses stood on the mountain
Waiting for You to pass by
You put Your hand over his face
So in Your presence he wouldn’t die
All of Israel saw the glory
And it shines down through the age
Now You’ve called me to boldly seek Your face

David knew there was something more
Than the ark of Your presence
And in a manger a baby was born
Among kings and peasants
All of Israel saw the glory
And it shines down through the age
And now You call us to boldly seek Your face

Show me Your face, Lord
Show me Your face
Then gird up my legs that I might stand in this holy place
Show me Your face, Lord
Your power and grace
I could make it to the end if I can just see Your face
Yes we can make it to the end if we can just see Your face.

- written by Don Potter.


(What a song. That's some seeking right there. And someone that knows what seeing God's face really means. What's so good about seeing God's face? What good does it bring? What value does it have? I know I sound positively heretical but that's a question that I would like to be able to have a rich answer to. Why are we going on as Christians? Why am I Christian?

Because I have seen His power in my mother's life. He pulled her through tough times. And a woman of cautiousness would never throw herself into a position where she knew she would be mocked and shunned by her family for her faith. But she did. That speaks plenty for me. And that I have experienced the love of God and a little tip of the ice-berg of the supernatural (Tooth was dead and after prayer came back to life. It turned from black to white. Shoulder muscles felt much much better after being prayed for. Felt like new. Exams were supremely blessed by the Lord. He speaks to me through the Word and in my mind.) I hope to give an even richer answer soon. What a song. The meaning that it holds is so loaded that if it were an apple tree, its branches would be sagging under the weight of the fruit. Amazing. )

Practical Application

Lessons in real life are much more scary than theory. And a lot more helpful for me I think. I learned that a real leader stands ready to face the music in any situation. Even if its staring death in the eye. And that sounds so pretty, heroic and do-able. Until we actually are in that position itself.

Today was a typical example. (Except that I wasn't staring death in the eye. Nor was I the established leader. Age-wise, however, I could be considered a leader.) My cousins meet up regularly and for 2 days we decided to hold a kind of Cousin Camp (affectionately dubbed the Cuzzy Camp). One of the activities during this camp was a water fight with water bombs. We decided due to general laziness and an unwillingness to lug more than 20 kilos of water in little plastic bags down to the field near our house, we would play in the corridor. I know I know. When I'm typing this I'm thinking the exact thing you are probably thinking right now (AKA what-a-waste-of-water, how-old-are-these-cousins, who-does-this-sort-of-things-nowadays, etc.)

So the fight ensued. I hurled a water bomb in the direction of my sister and it exploded with great aplomb on the stairs of the floor below us. Following the splash soon after was an irritated voice suggesting that we stop in case we really drenched a person for real. It turns out that we had almost hit someone visiting our neighbor. The fight continued where we were with us trying our best to keep our volume down so we won't be yelled at again. Unfortunately, another water bomb went sailing to the exact same spot where apparently on impact would alert the neighbor. Immediately, I ran out of sight so if there was a scolding, it wouldn't be for me. Everyone followed me except for one brave soul, Melissa. She was the one who had been seen and scolded from the first bomb and still she remained. The rest of us? Hiding 10 meters away in cowardice.

Although we didn't get scolded, the fight moved to the bathroom. It was fun but I was aware of this feeling that I had done something wrong the entire time. So when all of us were standing on towels dripping wet outside the bathroom waiting for our turn to shower, my conscience pricked me severely. I was disappointed and disgusted with myself for running away and leaving someone younger to take all the scolding and blame. I was angry that I had caused trouble for so many people (I noticed that my domestic help was not very happy with me either). A boulder seemed to have landed where my heart was.

So all of us went down to apologise to my neighbor for disturbing the peace. I was expecting a full-out scolding loaded with scorn, disdain and other unpleasant things but there was none. I stood yet again under grace. He looked at us with eyes that bore no malice and said it was ok. He even gave me a hug. I was reminded of how it was like to receive grace and what grace was. We apologised to my domestic help too and put the drenched bathroom back in order, wiping the floor and rearranging the little knick-knacks that all bathrooms have.

A leader stands up for what is right, regardless of what may happen to him. For me, it seems illogical and impossible to do that. You can't have that kind of self-sacrificial action without a strong belief system. It's not something that you tell yourself to do on a whim. This morning's verse was from Psalms 27.

{¹⁴ Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.} Ps 27: 14

That's trust right there. It's knowing that even if you do face something horrible because of something you do, trusting that He will deliver you when you are repentant and have mercy on you is what I take back for today.

Life is amazing, isn't it? Forgive me, Lord and mold me more. Perfect pottery I want to be.

Hungry,
Jo.

THAT'S GOOD NEWS

The passage of Ephesians 2:1-22 speaks for itself. Reading this blog entry is a sorry substitute for the power and liberation that lies in the word of God. Seriously, if anybody is ever reading this, go link on the bible link above please. It is the good news out there. WOOT.

In Ephesians, Paul is writing to the well, Ephesians. Ephesus was a land where the Greek god Artemis was prevalent. It was also home to a large population of Jews. When some of the Jews hardened their hearts and started persecuting Christians around them, Paul started to spread the message to the Gentiles. (Courtesy of http://www.christianinconnect.com/ephesians.htm) I am of Gentile origin so when I read this, i was relieved and happy. (Hey, beggars cannot be proud, ok? And besides, pride's exactly what I have too much of anyway. But the beauty of it is that God didn't strike me off his fancy party list. He saw me (saw us!) for what I was and still accepted me.)

Perhaps some people have trouble with seeing themselves as inherently bad as Christianity always seems to suggest. I mean, I have that problem. Its the thought that "Am I THAT bad? I mean, I do charity and stuff and well, I just don't think I'm BAD. I don't murder and stuff. ", that causes a little bit of brain frownage for me. But this mindset comes because we are again looking into the telescope the wrong way. We are thinking with the mind of philosophers and theorists. To understand the ways and the heart of God, won't we have to look from His perspective? It's not that questioning God is not allowed. (In fact, questioning is an essential habit to knowing him better and an awesome indicator among many that you have a 2 way relationship.) It's understanding before you judge. And against such love, you can stand?

Paul has met God, and that's why I believe his words are written here and shown for all to see as a representation of the truth as told by a man who has seen through God's perspective and is relating it the best way a man can to man.

{For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast. ¹⁰ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.} - Paul to the Ephesians, Eph 2:9-10

That last part right there, "to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Woah.

Grace: Favor/Good will. When you have done wrong to a person and the person not only does not hold it against you for you callousness but goes to the point of extending help to you like you are his beloved. That's Grace. And that's what you and I received.

At this point, the commonly used phrase 'All glory be to God' is most appropriate, I think. THANK YOU, JESUS!

Hungry and satisfied and happy,

Jo.

{Meaning of the name 'Joanne': God is Gracious. }